Poem No.2
Corona Rant
3 weeks into lockdown,
It’s becoming quite a bore,
the nagging wife
the screaming kids
and the dreaded mum-in-law.
The wife’s made yards of endless lists,
of jobs for me to do,
the garden weeds, the wonky shelf,
and the painting of the loo.
Flat packs from Ikea,
that’s never been made up,
the wife says now it’s perfect time
to try your handy stuff.
The instructions were there in Swedish,
With 4 bits of a bed we’d not bought,
And the other 2 sections that made up our lot,
We’re apparently 3 bits short.
So many bits were missing,
But god knows we made it fit,
It stood proudly the in the corner,
But appearance wise it was S..T!!
The Cuprinol hidden within the shed,
Unopened and so remote,
Perhaps it was time to get it out,
And give the fence a coat.
I painted on the liquid brown,
To give a brand new heart,
But the woodworm had got there years before,
And the fence just fell apart.
Sod it ! I mumbled to myself,
amidst wood wormed rotted timber ,
I wonder what to tell the wife,
I knew I was in lumber.
Next door had always boasted,
That their garden could take first prize,
But with my fence in broken bits
I could see their boasts were lies.
They can’t defend their bragging,
With a garden that looks so foul.
I always knew his missus,
Was a snooty, stuck up cow.
But that’s another story,
And I really mustn’t gloat,
I’ve got so many jobs to do
I can’t sit round and mope.
Now those hell bent on going out,
despite what’s from the media,
you can only think they have the brains,
of a very dead amoeba.
Thank goodness for our frontline staff,
who’s given so much more,
and the lad who brings our groceries,
directly to our door.
When all of this is over,
And through the other side,
Let’s give them all a medal,
To wear with British pride.
Ray Dodd
PS:
An old U 3 A -er named Cyrus
Stayed indoors in response to the virus.
He said self isolating
Was so damned frustrating
But we've Susan and Ray to inspire us!