Poetry etc.

More from Jan Gibson
Antidote for the Usually Bad Daily News
The man who gave the shoes off his feet to this homeless girl.
This motorcyclist who stopped to help an old woman pass safely.
This barber, who offers haircuts for the price of a single hug.
Consolation knows no color
The police officer who handcuffed himself to a woman to make sure she knew she'd have to take him with her.
The many people who helped make this boy's dream come true.
This dog owner who mourned by giving. (Still mopping up
tears over that one...)
This store employee who gives extra service.
The person who decided to put new tires on a stranger's car just because he needed it.
The crowd who decided a fan should be able to watch the show, no matter what.
This dry cleaning place that helps the unemployed for free.
These kids helping an injured member of their rival team to score.
This man who missed his train helping this older lady with her bags.
This man who gave something to a homeless man no one gives - something to occupy his mind.
And Dan, a man who, twice a week, buys coffee for every patient, nurse and doctor at local cancer centers.
The people at the animal hospital, knowing how hard it is to say goodbye.
This man who gave his umbrella away so this cat could have a dry night.
The paramedics.
lasts forever!”

Definition of "OLD"

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.
She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD"!


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the elderly widow and asked,
"How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied: "One year older than me"
"So you're 97," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, isn't it?"
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She replied, "No peer pressure."

I've sure gotten old! I have outlived my feet and my teeth I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week"
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.